Entry: So hateself speaks Oct 16, 2008



oh look at that!my own hate blog! I do maintain another with all my happy go lucky thoughts but thought why not, maybe ill actually spill my trueself to a bunch of strangers, or rather , the dark side of me .
i am an insecure person, who doesnt even  walk in front of certain people thinking that they'll laugh at me. Would not admit fact that I think I may be tad bit cute, because I think that other people think so. it is definitely devastating to not to be able to accept yourself as you are, hence the reason , I fabricate this other person who I'm not, because I fear people may reject me once my trueself is exposed. And to my own fortune , I guess I'm doing a good job, since no one has been able to unveil this part of me. I would hate to rant all this to the so called love of my life , since he loves taking credit saying " if it weren't for me , she would have no self esteem " . So therefore, to you , mykillselfproject, I pour my heart with the innermost dark deep thoughts of my depression that I assume I suffer from and my unfortunate life.
It it definitely disheartening that when you are actually doing your dream job, 2 of them to be more precise, involved in your studies sucessfully , have that too good be true sort of relationship and a loving family, what can be more wrong ? keep reading, it's all coming up !

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